MOVIE: Flight of the Phoenix

Flight of the Phoenix

This movie's not crap exactly, but if you squint your eyes and turn your head to the side you'd have a hard time telling the difference.

If you've read any other reviews on this site, you've probably picked up on the fact that I'm a sucker for formula movies. It's not that I don't know that I'm being played, it's just that I don't mind. Well, usually at least.

With this movie, the manipulation was so obvious and clumsy that even I was turned off. Let me spell it out:

First, the plot. How hard can this be?! Plane crashes, people fix plane, people fly home. The problem is that everyone in the audience knows right from the beginning that our heroes are going to make it home just fine, because if they crashed and died it wouldn't be much of a movie. Besides, Jimmy Stewart already did this once, and Dennis Quaid at least knows better than to leave Jimmy behind.

However, the plot still has gaping holes. For example, how is it that the 'evil nomads' were camped 100 yards from the plane yet didn't know it was there? They're cooking at that plane, and they've left a trail of debris for miles. These are not the wandering nomads that I want leading me out of the desert if they don't pick up on these subtle clues. There are more plot problems, but it makes me irritated to write them out here.

Then there's the acting; especially at the end, the whole cast is really trying so very, very hard to be emotional, that the whole scene falls flat on its face. The characters were unbelievable, uninteresting, and indistinguishable throughout the movie. In this area, the only possible exception comes from Giovanni Ribisi, who stood out from the rest of the cast with a unique and quirky character. I wonder how much of that was him and how much came from the director/writer/etc.

Bottom Line: Flight of the Phoenix isn't the worst movie to come out in the last year, but it's a long way from the best. Completely forgettable and only marginally watchable, there are better ways for you to spend your rental money.

GAME: Tokyo Xtreme Racer Zero (ps2)

Tokyo Xtreme Racer Zero

Here's the thing; I know that when you picture a 'gamer', you're probably thinking of a pimply 13-year old with limited social skills and an internet handle like '133t h4x0r o d00m'*.

What you may not realize is that there are more and more of us that are high-functioning adults, yet we still like to play games. I think this is probably because my generation is the first one to reach adulthood after growing up with a serious of video game consoles. We (or me, at least) started with that classy old wood-grained Atari 2600, then we graduated to the Nintendo Entertainment System, and then the flurry began, with all the Segas and Sonys and 'next generation' systems (which just means most recently released and most expensive).

So I like to play games, and I like my games simple to learn, yet intriguing enough to hold my attention. I also have a thing for realism, and I think that's what sold me on Tokyo Xtreme Racer Zero. See, this game is built on the actual highway map of Tokyo! How cool is that?! When (if) you watch the slightly cheesy street racing documentary on the disk, you will clearly recognize live shots of the streets you've been racing on in the game. This I like.

The downsides of the game are significant though; for starters, the game has no licenses for the cars it uses. So, instead of driving a 'Nissan Skyline GT-R V-Spec R34', you'll be cruising the mean streets in an 'R34RVM'.

The other downside is that eventually even a geek like me gets tired of driving around in circles on the same stretches of highway. It's always night, it never rains, and everything starts to look the same after a while.

Bottom Line: There are lots of these street racing games out there now, and more are being released almost weekly. Save yourself 40 bucks and try out this overlooked classic - it's worth at least the $5 it will cost you on eBay!



(*for a fascinating take on l33tspeak, check out this article. When I saw that the BBC had an online translation and explanation page, I couldn't pass it up. Here's my favorite quote: "0w|\| or 0wn3d - One of the most popular l33t words it is very loosely defined as beaten or can simply be an expression of awe, for example, 'I 0wn3d you' means 'I have beaten you in a very humiliating fashion', or '0wn4ge!' which means 'That was (or is) very nifty'.")

TV: The Amazing Race 7

You know, I pride myself on being interested in avant-garde cinema, and I regularly annoy my wife by tracking down obscure foreign films and forcing her to watch them with me. And then I go and blow all that film-geek cred by getting sucked into an over-hyped wonder of edited pseudo-reality like The Amazing Race 7.

I really don't get it either; I usually despise so-called 'reality tv', mostly because I don't see much connection between these shows and anything that I would consider to be reality. The subjects aren't all that 'real', and the editing guarantees that we don't see what 'really' happened to these 'real' people anyway. Plus, since I'm fairly happy with my own life I see little point in watching someone else live theirs.

Having said all that, I seem to find myself under some kind of voodoo-like influence that forces me to watch The Amazing Race every Tuesday night. Maybe it's the fact that at least some of the contestants on this show seem real enough to be someone I might actually know. Maybe it's the exotic locations that the players visit (I've always been fascinated by other cultures). It's definitely not the corny games that they play every week.

Bottom Line: There is only one 'reality' show that I can stand watching, and for whatever reason this is the one. Give it a shot - maybe it will suck you in too.

MOVIE: Spiderman 2

Spiderman 2

This was a year for suprisingly good movies: sequels that were better than the originals. Spiderman 2is a prime example. This film takes the superhero movie to a whole new level by giving us a look at a regular guy who feels trapped by his 'gift'. I know . . . I know . . . it sounds cheesy when you write it down like this, but the movie is actually great. I really believe that Tobey Maguire has a long career ahead of him, and if he can pull off a movie like this now, think if his potential when he has more life experience to draw on!

Bottom Line: There have been bad superhero movies, and there have been mediocre superhero movies, but there are very few really good superhero movies. Spiderman 2 is one of those rare good ones, and it's actually a better movie than the respectable original. The effects are great, but the story and acting are even more impressive (suprisingly enough!).

MOVIE: The Day After Tomorrow

The Day After Tomorrow

Remember when I mentioned guilty pleasures earlier? Well, this movie is definitely one of them. The acting was fair at best, the plot was contrived, and the sanctimonious sermonizing was almost insufferable. However (and this is a big 'however'), there is nothing as cool as seeing cities and famous landmarks being destroyed by forces of nature. I mean it too - I was thrilled when I got this movie for Christmas, because it's just a lot of fun to watch destruction. One thing that The Day After Tomorrow does that I've never seen before is making cold into something scary. I'm serious; it makes cold into a monster as terrifying as any doll, leprechaun, or guy in a hockey mask.

Bottom Line: The Day After Tomorrow is not a great movie, but it's a lot of fun. Put aside the global warming moralizing and the ludicrous 'science', and you still have a disaster flick that's entertaining and some effects that are impressive.

MOVIE: The Incredibles

The Incredibles

I saw a trailer for The Incredibles long before the movie was released, and I was salivating for this one for months. What struck me when I saw it in the theater was the strange sense of verisimilitude that I got. I really believed that these characters were real people. Despite the fact that they are animated and have pretty ridiculous superpowers, the Incredibles were the most 'real' family that I saw on screen all year. The ring of truth that made me care about this family is what sets Pixar movies apart from most of the rest of what Hollywood is producing (and yes, I am definitely including live action movies here). This movie is funny, touching, and exciting, and it was one of the few times that I didn't feel bitter about the rising price of movie tickets - this film was worth every penny I paid.

Bottom Line: Pixar has the Midas Touch when it comes to animated features. They have yet to release a film that isn't appealing, funny, and genuine. While The Incredibles may not be the best movie they have ever put out, it stands head and shoulders above most of the other releases of the year. Not only is this movie better than any other animated feature of the year, it is better than most other movies, period.

MOVIE: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Alrighty, now I have to try to remember which Harry Potter movie is which . . . oh yeah, I think I remember now .

Until this year, I considered the Harry Potter movies to be one of my guilty pleasures. I really liked watching them, but it had more to do with being a sucker for a good fantasy story than the first two Harry's being great movies. This one, however, was a breath of fresh air. The new director (Cuaron) brought a grittier style to this movie, and he ended up putting together a movie that stands on its own as a genuinely good movie - completely apart from the phenomenon that the books have become.

Bottom Line: The most recent of the Harry Potter movies is, quite simply, the best of the three. This film is good enough to be worth seeing even if you've never read any of the books, though you will have a hard time if you haven't at least seen the first two movies. However, it's good enough to make it worthwhile to watch the first two just to get into this one.

MOVIE: Shrek 2

Shrek 2

Okay, I have the original Shrek on dvd, but only because I got one of those Blockbuster deals where you pay one price for a bunch of rentals and some new release movie that's coming out soon. I didn't really like the original all that much - there were a few funny moments, but I thought that the message that 'we're all beautiful in our own way and we should just be true to ourselves' was more than a little bit stale. So, imagine my surprise when I actually liked the sequel! I actually thought it was funnier than the first, and the plot struck closer to home. The voice acting was well done, and the writing was better than the first.

Bottom Line: Even if Shrek didn't ring your bell, this sequel just might surprise you. It's not the greatest animated movie ever (or even the best animated movie of the year), but it was entertaining and well made.

MOVIE: The Passion of the Christ

The Passion of the Christ

I saw this in the theater in its first week of release. As a member of the leadership team of my church, I wanted to cut through all the hype and 'controversy' by seeing the movie for myself and making my own judgement. The film is hard to discuss in a context like this one, because aside from the medium it has very little in common with a typical movie. I suppose that it was well made, but I'm just not able to really critique it as a movie apart from the message.

Bottom Line: If you accept the premise of The Passion of the Christ, then you are likely to find it an incredibly moving depiction of a story very closely tied to your emotions. If you don't accept the premise behind the film, then you could very easily find this movie to be a gratuitously gory and gratuitously 'preachy' self indulgence by a powerful and rich man. You'll love it or hate it depending on what baggage you already have.

MOVIE: The Bourne Supremacy

The Bourne Supremacy

I saw this one in the theater and then again when I got the dvd for Christmas. I have a confession to make regarding this movie: I had a chip on my shoulder about it from the beginning. See, I read the book about 3 months before the movie was released, and the film is nothing like the book (which was a lot of fun). It was a good movie, and compared very well against the original, but since it departed pretty significantly from the book that I loved, I had a hard time loving the movie. However, it is unusual to see a Hollywood actioner that actually has a brain and a plot that more or less makes sense. It is also unusual to see a star vehicle that stands on its own as an interesting film. The Bourne Supremacy accomplishes both of those goals.

Bottom Line: Considering that this was a big-budget studio project, a sequel, and an action flick, The Bourne Supremacy was suprisingly good. There's not much humour here and little in the way of happy endings, but it's a good example of the rare 'thinking man's action movie.' Plus, it almost makes you believe that Matt Damon can act.

MOVIE: I, Robot

I, Robot

I, ROBOT
I didn't see this one until it came out on dvd, and it was okay (I guess). It was exactly what you would expect - a typical 'blockbuster' actioner starring the A-list Will Smith. It broke no ground and stuck to the usual 'rogue cop follows his hunches to save everyone from the evil capitalist/robot/supercomputer' plot.

As always, Will Smith has a certain charisma and screen presence that makes him very watchable. Plus, computers are really good and making action sequences seem real (though we all know that they aren't, which is the CG poison pill). The main robot in this movie even looked believably 'alive' (a la' Gollum). All of this together doesn't make for a great movie though - it makes for an okay movie, but not a great one.

Bottom Line: The effects were nicely done and Smith had a few snappy one-liners, but all in all this movies was no more and little less than what you would have anticipated based on the plethora of commercials, crossover endorsements and talk show appearances that preceded its release.

Hello there!

I love movies, and I've never been completely satisfied with any of the movie review sites that I've found. I've been writing my own reviews and rants for a while now, and I figured that maybe there are a few people out there that would agree with me.

Well, actually I don't care all that much whether you agree with me - it's MY blog! :D

For the last 4 years or so I've hung out at www.redscape.com, which is a great site for playing online strategy games and discussing politics, religion, and everything else that people get angry about. The gang over there is very intelligent and accepting, but I finally got off my butt to write to a wider audience.

I may get into politics and current events once in a while, but I intend to use this site primarily to talk about movies, tv, and music.

One other thing: I haven't got a clue about HTML or how to make this blog look good, so I'll be making it up as I go. Any suggestions or help are welcome!